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Thursday, April 14, 2011

In Which: I talk about relationship fear

As mentioned in my last post, I'm dating an amazing man.  And most days- I thank God that I am with him.  He truly astounds.  But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of some things- that some days seem really BIG and other days seem ridiculous to consider...

Monday, April 11, 2011

In Which: I realize I've completely forgotten this blog!

Wow- my faithful readers... It's been a ridiculous amount of time since I've last posted.  It's not for a lack of interest in writing to you fine folks, or that I've been lazy, but rather that life has seemed to have totally consumed my free time in ways I did not conceive when I started writing this blog.

So what's happened since we last spoke.  Well to start with, my job (along with the new boss) became so much more complex (in a very good way) than I had expected.  I've found myself working 7 days a week (granted Sat. and Sun. are primarily just an hour or two) while brain-stormig new programs for our affiliates- al of which, I thoroughly enjoyed.  

My grandmother passed away, and I spent 2 weeks in Florida, helping my grandfather get over the hump of loosing his wife of over 50 years.  

I made it through my first 6 months commuting, and realized it didn't give me quite as much free money as I had hoped, but at least I've got a new, reliable car to show for it.

I got kicked out of my former BFIC's wedding because of a stupid spat over what the ex-landlord decided to keep out of our security deposit.

And finally, I've hooked myself an amazing man.  That's right- your singleton extraordinaire- who thought she just might be a singelton for life, found the love of her short life.   The BF is the most amazing man I have ever met, and probably the kindest most giving person I have met outside of my Grandmother who passed away.  How did we meet?  Well in January- I decided I would give eCupid a try.  I had been on eHarmony and Match before- to very little success.  And in January, I logged on, set up a profile, and began getting several responses.  BF was not actually someone I considered a top candidate (as if this was a job interview), though our compatibility was well into 91%, because he's 34 (me turning 26 this week) and I was talking with a guy who was a major tech geek like me.  But BF kept engaging me in conversations online, and eventually (though I was not very very talkative with him) had the courage to ask me out for a date.

Well- I said yes- per my dating policy (every guy gets one chance in person to woo me, after all, my experience in sales said elevator pitches sucked).  So anyway, we got together the last weekend in January and met up at a local Italian restaurant.  When I arrived, he had a white rose and godiva chocolate for me.   And he was handsome.  Gorgeous blue/green eyes and a wonderful smile.  But still- I was nervous.  As a Liberal Christian, I always find it tough to date Christian men, because it's difficult as heck finding one that doesn't feel my place is barefoot and in the kitchen (not to mention agree or at least tolerate my more liberal social tendencies).  At any rate, dinner went well, but it was until we got to chatting about politics that I was hooked.  Our opinions on politics, politicians, and social issues was so very similar.

Since that weekend, most of my free time on the weekends has been spent getting to know this amazing person.  A kind a gentle soul who making my life an amazing place to be right now.

So with that said, on the relative eve of my 26th birthday, I am ready to start blogging again, and talking more about BF- who needs a better name.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

In Which: I post an obligatory response to that Marie Claire Article

Yup- I'm going to do it.  I'm going to walk into the murky waters and write about this Marie Claire Post.  Now before I get started I'd like to set down a few rules about this post and other controversial things I may post in the future:
1. If I believe a post was created just to link bait (which I firmly believe is the case with this Marie Claire Artical) I will only link to the secondary source I found it at. 
  • Why?  Because I do not want to reward the provacotive blogger's editors by giving them more traffic. 
2.  If you choose to comment, please keep it respectful.  I don't care if your opinion is different than mine, but name calling or anything of the like will be strictly frowned upon and likely removed. 

3.  I reserve the right to add more rules as need be.  :) 

Alright- now that I've set the rules for this clean fight, let's get started shall we?

So here's the breakdown.  Chick on Marie Claire get's an assignment to chat about Mike & Molly (a tv show that launched this fall on CBS).   Premise of said show revolves around an overweight pair who meet at an over-eaters anonymous meeting.  Now, as an overweight gal myself, I have my own issues with this show.  My issues are that it seems (at least from the previews I've seen) that a lot of the jokes center around the couple's size and not their situations.   Again, I have not watched an episode yet, and am totally willing to give it a shot once I have a chance.  At any rate, the hulabalu comes about because the Marie Claire blogger (who had an eating disorder) unleashes a horrendously nasty diatribe on fat people and how disguisting we are to look at even walking across the room-let alone kissing in public!

At this point, I'm upset. And do you know why?  Well she goes on to talk about self-control and self-love and eating properly.  I understand those were what got your life back in order Ms. MC Blogger, but guess what?  Not every fat person sits on their ass all day gorging out on food, hating themselves, and eating lard out of a tub.

No, instead so many people are fat because of so many reasons. 

But I'm not going to sit here and say that I'm fat because I have a disease (because as far as my doctor and I can tell-barring extensive and expensive testing everything about me is 100% healthy-cholestorol, BP, insulin, etc).  The truth is, I don't know why I'm fat, and that's the most frustrating part about people who throw around fat insults as if I'm purposely choosing to a lifestyle that gives me nothing but ridicule and laughter as I live my life. At least if I was fat because I choose to only eat ridiculously unhealthy food or refused to exercise, I'd know how to do something about my offense to you!

However, let me tell you a little about my life growing up.  I grew up in a household with a stepsister.  We are only 6 months apart in age.  I was always the heavier one, and becuase of that, have always been very mindful of what I ate. (Especially when you have a biological father who would let every woman he dated bully him into saying I was fat and should be on endless diets-which thank god, my Mom stood up to him about.) Even now, I rarely eat fried foods  or overeat (no more than my friends in college who were also skinny), I don't exercise less than they did, and yet I've always been the heavier one.  But anyway- back to my sister.

She was literally stick skinny until she hit puberty at which point she gained boobs and that's it.  I believe now, she's roughly a size 6-8.  We ate the same food, she often ate more than I did.  Particularly where breakfast was concerned.  It would never cease to amaze me that she could wolf down (and seriously the girl inhaled them) 6 pancakes for breakfast loaded with butter and syrup and I could barely eat 2 with a little bit of jam on top.  Meanwhile I was shopping in womens while she was still shopping in the childrens section because juniors was too big. 

Growing up, I never lacked confidence in myself.  I was on the swim team for pete's sake-swimming anchor on the 1000m Medley. I never had any problems going out in public in a swimsuit or shorts.  My only weird quirks were that I refused to wear t-shirts out in public (which was mostly because I didn't want to look like a slob) and I hate short skirts even to this day (but really I'm not a fan of them on anyone-call me a prude).   So to read these women who say that I have a lack of self control and that I don't love myself, just enrages me.  I'm sorry Ms. MCBlogger, I'm sorry that my metabolism for whatever reason, refuses to help keep me svelte and bitter-as it seems you are. But guess what, I didn't ask for you to show faux concern over me.  No one is throwing Gucci your way as a reward for your concern, so back off.

Because, in the end, Ms. MCBogger, while there are people out there with eating disorders, as you seemed to suffer from, some of us-short of starving ourselves, cannot loose weight.  I don't understand why it is acceptable for you to foist your discomforts on me and people who look like me.

Take a look at her rant, or direct quotes, and please tell me that if you inserted any other race in places where she says the word fat-that it wouldn't be treated as hate speech.

So here it is blog world- I'm fat.  I have been since I was about 4 years old.  But that is not who I am.  I work for a tremendously successful company, I actually adore my family, I have great friends, and while I do not have a man yet- I look forward to knowing that when I do fall in love, he won't be someone who is only wrapped up in the fashion magazine's idea of beauty.  I'm smart, I graduated cum laude with 2 degrees, and graduated high school 16 in my class of over 400 including a year without grades because I lived in another country!  And I have this little bit of internet real estate.

It may not be as big as yours Ms. MCBlogger, but at least I do not have to tear people apart for things they may have no control over to make myself feel better.

Here's a link to another blogger who covers the topic so much better than I do: http://www.fatshionista.com/cms/


Monday, October 25, 2010

In Which: I Discuss WoaWW-Proposals


So this week's topic for the Words of a Wanton Woman is all about proposals.  And if you read my last post, you'd no I have no practical experience with long term relationships, let alone proposals. The dream variety of experience, however, of that I have plenty.

Friday, October 22, 2010

In Which: Woman's time is discussed...

Ahh Friday- I thought you'd never arrive, you elusive day, you.   So I'm 3 weeks into my commute (well 3 weeks are finished) and this week was the hardest yet.   And really there's so many reasons for that.  I have been staying up entirely too late, I'm PMS-ing a bit, and I'm really trying to understand how to still be myself while I'm at home.

And really, it probably all comes down to the PMS-ing.   I don't think I'm horrible to people when it's that time of the month, but I just really want to curl up in a ball and stay in bed.  Not because of any horribly physical discomfort, but more so because my mood is just so depressed by other people.   So last night, instead of working or even playing around on my blog or on my writing, I slept the entire train rain home, and it was marvelous.   And after that, all I wanted to do was go straight downstairs to my room and just vege without anyone around.  But I got home, and my lovely mom had dinner waiting, my dad was excited because he's always excited when he hears anything about MyCompany on his radio stations, and my little brother had an awesome Junior Year Picture.

Overall, I think I just need to relax a bit.  To chill out.  It is not the end of the world that I am living at home with my parents.  It is not the end of the world, because I could make more money if I wanted.  I could find a better paying job.  But I would sacrifice a great company, a great future in my field, and more importantly my happiness.

Because even on days like yesterday, I'm about 1,000 to 1,000,000,000,000 times happier on a daily basis than I ever was when I was in sales.  And if there's one thing I've determined about myself, is that I cannot do a job that does not make me happy and content.

What do you do, fair readers?  What have you given up to be happier?


Meanwhile- the sun is behind a cloud and setting, and it couldn't look more beautiful if it was painted.  Seriously, it looks fake, beams and all.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

In Which: My BFF finally gets an interview and Gift Horses are Discussed

Well- here I am settling into my evening commute (did I mention it's roughly 2 hours from door to door?) pulling up the internet through my lovely hacked connection, and I get a phone call interrupting my internet service, and I start to grumble, because if it's the stupid blood bank auto-dialing me again, I may scream.  You all re-call my horrible experience giving blood a few months ago.

Thankfully, it was not.

It was M-my BFF in Texas who is trying to move back up here.

Now M is a great gal, she and L are my bet friends, and between the two of them, they are pieces of my soul.  But L&M went to Texas and left me behind up here (as well as several of our other college friends).  Now that they've been in the great Lone Star state, they realize how alone they are down there, and have been desperately trying to find employment back up here, so as to be closer to all of us fine folks.

It's to the point where they are considering re-signing their lease for more than a month to month contract.  Meaning they would lock in again for at least another 6 months.  That gives me a major sad face.  Anyway- M finally got a call back from an organization she really wants to work for.  First thought was, with all sincerity - Thank you Lord!   I have been praying for her to get at least an interview, at the very least to pull her spirits up, about the entire situation. L is a little more okay with staying in Tejas, so M has been feeling the pressure more.   If you are of the praying persuasion, say a little prayer for her, and if not, send some good karma thoughts her way!

Rant Below (if you only want warm and fuzzies don't click through)-

Monday, October 18, 2010