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Monday, October 25, 2010

In Which: I Discuss WoaWW-Proposals

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So this week's topic for the Words of a Wanton Woman is all about proposals.  And if you read my last post, you'd no I have no practical experience with long term relationships, let alone proposals. The dream variety of experience, however, of that I have plenty.

To be honest, I'm not one of those girls who does a whole lot of dreaming about her wedding. I'm ambivalent about it.  I vaguely know what I want (pretty dress, best friends & family in attendance, and potentially an outdoor ceremony-oh and a groom. Let's not forget him.)- after that, I'm up for anything.  But the proposal, man that is something I've dreamed (wow- in writing that sentence I've just learned that dreamt is not considered correct...thank you spell check) about for as long as I probably have understood the concept.

Some of my favorite scenario's include extremely sappy (take me back to the first place we kissed) to the downright preposterous (spell my name out in smoke signals-please). I find my self walking down the road, and thinking about great scenarios for a proposal.  Side walk chalk on your significant other's normal walking route, playing our song while at a bar and getting down on one knee in the middle of the dance floor, taking out an ad on Facebook (because I'm way too internet geeky-I'd find it to be cool).

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What do all these things have in common?  I want to be surprised.  Today, in a modern relationship, I feel like there is little to no surprise left- which is both good and bad.  It's good that couples are on the same page before they get engaged.  That they discuss whether or not it makes sense, if they are going to have children, if they want to live in the city or the burbs, if they should have a shared bathroom or separate. 

But come on!  I don't want you to plan a vacation and me go off to it, knowing you're going to propose (which is what happened to my BfiC Best friend in Chicago).  I want to be in a state of awe that you asked.  I want that shaky, teary, yes. Gosh darnit, I don't care if the wedding isn't something to brag about, I want to brag about the proposal.  I love reading about the guy in Chicago, that knew what bus his fiance took everyday, got permission to put a poster on the bus stop that asked if she would marry him, and invited friends and family to be there while he asked.  That takes guts and gumption!  That's what I want. 

Because in the end, the wedding is done to please so many people: our parents, our friends, our beliefs about what the other one wants.  But the proposal- oh my dear, in the proposal you are asking me how I feel about you, and you need to close the deal.  You need to show me that I'm worth the effort of something.  That you're not sure if I'm going to say yes.  Otherwise, what do I have to expect, in any future anniversary when you know that I'm already yours?

Or you could just slip the ring on my finger, while we're laying in bed or on a couch together, that'd be nice too. 


P.S. Don't worry about my future hubby.  He's in good hands.  My best friends are all under strict orders about this topic and it's a discussion I plan to have.  I plan to tell him that if he thinks we're getting close to wanting to do this, he is to speak with the girls.  The girls will at that point know whether they should put him off the idea, what ring I want, and if I really would appreciate being proposed to on national television.  That's why you should always have your girl army! 







4 comments:

  1. The ad on facebook is nerdy, but awesome! I would never think of that! Which is why I'm glad I'm not a dude!!
    xo

    Thanks for participating!

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  2. My BF was telling me that a guy he knew weed whacked "Will you marry me Becky?" or whatever her name was into the side of the mountain by their house. He thought it was bizarre, but that would take a ton of work, it would definitely show his dedication.
    I think it should be pretty special as I would assume it will only happen once. (My guy can't keep a secret so I know he has bought me a ring, I went and picked out the ring by myself, which was an interesting experience.)

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  3. The ad on facebook is nerdy, but awesome! I would never think of that! Which is why I'm glad I'm not a dude!!

    That's how I know I spend way to much time dreaming up proposal scenarios...

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  4. smoke signals would be kind of awesome. Tried to convince a friend to let another friend's kid who is a girlscout try to "sell" cookies and our this engagement ring to her. and he almost did but went with some boring normal one.

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